It does not sit well with me to be sitting down while reading poems that I have written, speaking to my own face on a screen. I have not done well in online performances, and though I am grateful that they are still happening, there haven’t been many that I’ve enjoyed watching either. I did probably what will be my only live performance of post March 2020 at the end of May. It was at my Grandmother’s funeral, and I’ve included the poem I wrote for her at the end here. Today I filmed a short poetry set as practise for an online gig, but watching it back I knew this wasn’t the day for ‘live’ performance. It sounded flat and I looked bored. I guess I could’ve had another crack at it. I was sitting down at my desk, so I moved the ipad to the top of a bookshelf so I could stand up, and there and then I decided it was time to ADAPT. I still backed out of the online gig, but I’ve committed to - and I’m putting this in words so I have accountability - making a two-minute video once a week and posting it on my facebook page and instagram. This way I have to learn and practise one or two poems a week and get them online. We aren’t going back to sharing spaces in the way that we used to anytime soon, and it’s all I can do to stop everything turning to sludge.
I’ve been so sick of seeing my own face on a screen during nearly every human interaction I’ve had in the past four months that I made a new puppet to speak through, so a different face was on the screen. She is called Wanda, and she is a womb. I wrote a poem about reproductive rights called ‘Pro Life’, in the vein of Desiree’s 90’s hit ‘Life’, then made a short video and submitted it to Grant Sharkey’s Radical You TV. It’s THE SEXY ONE on youtube. I’m so proud of my friends who are making great online work; hosting quizzes, doing podcasts, leading dance classes, and showcasing editing and animation skills, the likes of which I can only dream of. I’ve made a new puppet. But she’s cool, and maybe we’ll do some more educational videos together, if inspiration ever strikes again.
I’ve signed up to Peta Lily’s Advanced Dark Clown workshop at the end of July. This will be the first workshop I’ve ever done via zoom, and I always come away from working with Peta brimming with ideas. This could not be more timely and needed. I’m outraged at the events happening in the world on an hourly basis, and I hardly feel much like writing anything new. It feels more important to listen for now, and to educate myself. And to not turn to sludge in the meantime.
JJlF xx
A hush fell over the green opposite the kitchen window
The ducks paused mid waddle, beaks agape
As dusk fell, the best fed fox in Winchester, slinked from his lair, sniffed the air
And saw his nightly banquet was late
But in another space, another plane, tails started wagging, whiskers twitched
Fur faced eyes wide in eagerness
Yes! They said, She is returned to us.
The bird lady left her body that Spring
Blossoms bloomed but her spirit shrank
From a shell that brought her no pleasure
A fragmented mind
Holding humour until the very last
Dinky Bennett in present and past
We wished her wings rest
But never forget
Our squeals as she dried between our toes
The mock indignation at the sight of false teeth
Yellow photographs, squares, over-exposed
An entourage of rowdy geese
The red warning triangles for ducks on Worthy Road
How we rolled our eyes when she pointed that camera
‘Look natural’ she yelled, while we were eating our dinner
Archers and lemonade over ice
A cheeky cream cake
A drawer stuffed with biscuits
A teddy bears picnic
Her voice on the phone pricks up floppy ears
The scent on borrowed clothes foretells her appearance
Now they all line her path as she greets each one by name
‘Hello Chutney and Rio, it’s lovely to see you
And Toni, and Benbow, Abbie and Willow
There’s Jason, sopping wet from the river
Jamie, Louee, Pepai and Sophie the bunny
Candy, Kelly, Lady, Blu and Honey
Toby, Friday, Dominic, Blaze and Midnight
God bless you all, you’re a sight for sore eyes!’
I’ve been so sick of seeing my own face on a screen during nearly every human interaction I’ve had in the past four months that I made a new puppet to speak through, so a different face was on the screen. She is called Wanda, and she is a womb. I wrote a poem about reproductive rights called ‘Pro Life’, in the vein of Desiree’s 90’s hit ‘Life’, then made a short video and submitted it to Grant Sharkey’s Radical You TV. It’s THE SEXY ONE on youtube. I’m so proud of my friends who are making great online work; hosting quizzes, doing podcasts, leading dance classes, and showcasing editing and animation skills, the likes of which I can only dream of. I’ve made a new puppet. But she’s cool, and maybe we’ll do some more educational videos together, if inspiration ever strikes again.
I’ve signed up to Peta Lily’s Advanced Dark Clown workshop at the end of July. This will be the first workshop I’ve ever done via zoom, and I always come away from working with Peta brimming with ideas. This could not be more timely and needed. I’m outraged at the events happening in the world on an hourly basis, and I hardly feel much like writing anything new. It feels more important to listen for now, and to educate myself. And to not turn to sludge in the meantime.
JJlF xx
A hush fell over the green opposite the kitchen window
The ducks paused mid waddle, beaks agape
As dusk fell, the best fed fox in Winchester, slinked from his lair, sniffed the air
And saw his nightly banquet was late
But in another space, another plane, tails started wagging, whiskers twitched
Fur faced eyes wide in eagerness
Yes! They said, She is returned to us.
The bird lady left her body that Spring
Blossoms bloomed but her spirit shrank
From a shell that brought her no pleasure
A fragmented mind
Holding humour until the very last
Dinky Bennett in present and past
We wished her wings rest
But never forget
Our squeals as she dried between our toes
The mock indignation at the sight of false teeth
Yellow photographs, squares, over-exposed
An entourage of rowdy geese
The red warning triangles for ducks on Worthy Road
How we rolled our eyes when she pointed that camera
‘Look natural’ she yelled, while we were eating our dinner
Archers and lemonade over ice
A cheeky cream cake
A drawer stuffed with biscuits
A teddy bears picnic
Her voice on the phone pricks up floppy ears
The scent on borrowed clothes foretells her appearance
Now they all line her path as she greets each one by name
‘Hello Chutney and Rio, it’s lovely to see you
And Toni, and Benbow, Abbie and Willow
There’s Jason, sopping wet from the river
Jamie, Louee, Pepai and Sophie the bunny
Candy, Kelly, Lady, Blu and Honey
Toby, Friday, Dominic, Blaze and Midnight
God bless you all, you’re a sight for sore eyes!’
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