What follows is a round up of the feedback I can remember from last night, it won't make a great deal of sense to anyone who wasn't there, and this is a blog for my process, so that's ok! I'm so grateful to the people who were there, and who engaged with me in this way, I hope they come back and see it again. And also to the people who sent their apologies, I know they were cheering me on from afar, and that meant a lot.
* Is there potential for a 'real frontal lobotomy? Can you take that further with some gore? Also, the angle of the ice-pick didn't look right.
* The puppet should be bigger. (I'm going to get one made, I made the one for this show to see if the idea worked, and I agree!)
* In the breakdown you should go to town with smearing the lipstick, take that much further, more extreme.
* Liked the burlesque poem (I did mess up the lines on this, but good to know it still resonated)
* It's dreamlike, you take us on a journey, there's not a story as such, but the themes correlate.
* There's more potential for comedy. Can you be more ridiculous?
* You have enough words, and the writing is strong.
* Experiment with different voices for the pieces, stand in different areas of the stage, embody some of the characters.
* You probably don't need the mic.
* Potential for some more stage business, what about having some magic tricks? A disappearing cigarette, pull things out of Tom's hat, disappearing whiskey bottle.
* Can more things (props) appear?
* Liked the creation myth (This was an amalgamation of two stories I wrote in Berlin, with a Tom Waits reference thrown in at the end, I'm so happy it worked)
* This is so different from what I've seen you do before! (I know!)
* It's very personal, you in relation to Tom Waits, but what about Tom Waits in relation to frontal lobotomies? Didn't you tell me that the year he was born was the year they really took off as 'a cure' for mental illness? How can you bring that in? I remembered the title of the show halfway through.
* It's always felt that we were in the present, but there is a bit of a 30's vibe going on, do you always have to be in the present?
* Cabaret feel.
* Introducing the band, you should have a band (I wanted to pull out different puppets for this part of the show, so they became my band, something to work on)
* Was it all your own writing? (Yes! Although I quote a lot of Waits, and there are some Neitzsche, Jung and JD Salinger quotations too)
* It's a sweet show, a lot of work has gone into it.
* You're a great physical performer, we need more of that.
* You should decide on what your relationship to the audience is, at one point I wanted to heckle, is that invited? I wasn't sure.
* There's lots in there for the Tom Waits obsessed, and I liked how you introduced him at the start.
* Push it further, it's going to be more beautiful than it already is.
Gratitude. Gratitude. And yet more Gratitude. Xxxx